Question by Brevan: Why does my wife complain about having to work when she’s the feminist who wanted her own career?
We’re an Indian couple living in the US. I have an engineering degree and she has a business degree. At first only I worked and I was in biomedical engineering. I had the opportunity to work for a software company and make a lot more money but chose not to because (1) I like the biomedical field a lot more and (2) she told she wanted to have her own career. So got an accountancy job. And everything was fine. We were able to get a much better house, cars, etc.
But lately she has been complaining to me and causing our marriage to fall apart. She doesn’t like having a job and wants to quit. But now with our new mortgage it’s no longer an option. If I KNEW she didn’t want to have the feminist ideal of her own career than I would have ACCEPTED the software job but now it’s too late!
If she quits her accountancy job we may get in trouble with her mortgage. But she acts like I’m at fault for forcing my wife to work. I’d like to hear other opinions because we come from a traditional Indian family where only the husbands work and I’ve been getting a lot crap from relatives saying I’m a BAD HUSBAND for “making” my wife work. Yet they don’t understand that she’s the one that wanted a career in the first place and after plans are made she can’t just stop!
Answer by Jon Jon
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