Question by Xinio64-Noldor Mage: Spiritually speaking, can someone proofread my cover letter?
EcoVentures International
1519 Connecticut Ave. NW, Suite 301
Washington, DC 20036

To Whom It May Concern:

Being an environmentally-conscious college student, I have a strong desire to advance the cause of sustainable development in communities across the globe. That is why I was excited to learn that your organization has an operations and outreach intern position open. With my previous work experience and a passion to create a greener world, I am sure you will find me a viable candidate for this internship.

In past jobs, I did many of the same tasks that are required of an operations and outreach intern. During my time at the National Science Resources Center, I helped plan an event where the company’s educational products were marketed to various clients across the world. In doing so, I learned to maintain contact databases, complete logistical work, distribute company brochures, and do other general administrative tasks like faxing material and keeping in contact with our clients. As a Community Assistant, I cared for the needs of several hundreds of students in the dorm community I worked in. This included doing database work on students, making routine calls to students about various dorm issues, distributing college material, and working with higher officials in the Resident Life department.

This internship will fulfill my yearning to help the environment, which has grown over the past year. In college, I am studying civil engineering with a focus on the environment to learn how to better our world through a technical lens. With this knowledge, I hope to later get involved in environmental public policy on the federal and international levels to foster more aggressive environmental initiatives.

Hopefully this brief letter has grabbed your interest. A resume and writing sample is also provided to give you a better idea of my qualifications. I welcome the opportunity to have an interview to answer any questions. Thank you for your consideration and I hope to speak with you in the future.

Sincerely,

Name

What do you think?

Best answer:

Answer by misslabeled
Too much. If they have the position posted, you should state that’s what you’re writing about and where you saw it first. Unless the posting asked to provide writing samples, do not send them with a letter of interest. If they like what they see in your cover and resume, they will contact you. Also don’t go on so much about your dreams and aspirations. Address your qualifications for the job, and then later that the field has always interested you.

Pretty good, just needs some rearranging. You get 10 seconds of their time. You have to address what’s important to THEM first.

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